Fear

Will I always be scared? It seems that even as I grow and evolve as a person, there is always an underlying fear present. Is that normal, or is it just me? Because every day I constantly find myself in awe of people around me and the things they accomplish. I'm not talking about astrophysicists or surgeons or anything like that...but more of the simple every day things. Things like forming bonds with people, watching a child, communicating with a stranger. Relationships.

But the word simple is misleading, isn't it? Because relationships - in any form, really - scare the ever living shit out of me. And yet I know several people who swear by them - who can't seem to find themselves sane without one. Then there are those who are always searching for them. It's like a relentless fucking treasure hunt that I just don't understand.

Maybe it's intertwined, though, this fear that I have and the idea of relationships. Because at the heart of it all, I've had this fear of rejection that is like this thick dark cloud hovering over everything I do and every person I meet. I'm not quite sure why my self esteem is so low, or if that's even the real problem.

I guess what I'm wondering is how do you get yourself to step through the fear and enter something that every instinct in yourself tells you to run from?

But I Fear

I have Nothing to give

I have so much to Lose here

in this Lonely place

Tangled up in our embrace

There's nothing I'd like

Better than to Fall

But I Fear I Have Nothing Left To Give