Crossroads

I feel like I am stuck at a fork in a road. You know - one of those paths that inevitably makes you choose a direction knowing that the only thing you will be able to do is live with the consequences it puts forth - good or bad. It worries me, because every which way I look at it I only see bad. Maybe it's because I can't seem to get myself out of this funk where every single damn glass is half empty. These negative feelings and thoughts are atrocious...they somehow seem to swallow me up whole and turn everything gray.

Damn I'm melodramatic.

I'm wining. And I hate that. But I hate the place that I find myself at right now.

Nursing always seemed so right. I look back at my previous posts (albeit, they were scant, I know..) and realize that once upon a time the thought of this did feel right. I want to feel that again, but every experience I've had so far is slowly, but surely, pushing me away from the career that I've fought so hard to achieve a place in.

My parents say that nothing in the world is out of someone's reach if they want it badly enough. In fact, the faith that others have in my "abilities" astounds me on a daily basis. You people are seeing something that I really don't see, and while it's flattering it's even more so frustrating, because I really do feel as if I'm wading in a rip current that keeps bringing me under. I don't want to give up, but I fear I'm losing the will to fight for it all. This shit is hard, and it's near impossible when you still don't even know if it's what you want.

Here's my question: how long do you fight for something when everything else is signaling for you to move on?