I'm exhausted - mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I suppose it's the "good" kind of exhaustion, for the most part. My job is demanding, moreso than I ever imagined. I do believe that it is a good thing I have something to focus on; a craft to hone and make my own, even if I don't know what the future holds.
So many things have happened as of late. Deaths and births, beginnings and endings. Friendships have waned and/or strengthened. At some point I decided (moreso so subconsiously than not) that I am going to through myself full force into my job that I thought I always wanted yet continue to feel completely out of my depth in. And I feel a shift in relation to this, similar to the the one nursing school caused.
I'm changing again. Meeting new people, lovely and fantastic people. Relationships are being strengthened, and I am growing even more into myself and the people I've surrounded myself with. The only problem with all this change is that some people/things/hobbies/whatever are that I don't want to change are falling to the wayside.
This whole balancing act that life requires us all to master sucks monkey balls. I feel like I'm failing at it all the time...and isn't that just a sucktastic feeling...? How on earth do people master this? And when will I feel somewhat put together? I miss being carefree and not thinking, but even that statement is a lie because I don't think I ever really let myself be that carefree. I don't even know where I was going with this thought process anymore, but I can't seem to turn the brain off. Thank you, anyone and everyone who continues to indulge my rambling. Much appreciated. Oh, and any advice/commentary is welcome.
